So this is what I wrote in my journal this morning, the morning of my thirtieth birthday. It's pretty much word-for-word, I've just cleaned up some of the grammar. So I guess that you get a peek into my head today.

Today is my 30th birthday.

There is so much I could say about what happened/is happening in my life right now, but I won't [say those things]. Maybe I was hoping that I would wake up today, after three decades on this planet, and my back would be healed. Instead, it's worse than it has been. Yet, I have been here for thirty years, something that doesn't happen to everyone, like my Uncle [Wayne who died when he wasn't even 21 yet]. No, my story isn't done yet. No one knows what God has planned for them tomorrow, but I just have a feeling that I'm going to be around for awhile [more].

I remember a story I heard about Rich Mullins [a famous Christian singer-songwriter-musician] after his death. (He died in a Peoria, Illinois hospital, by the way.) He was talking to his sister (I think) on the phone and said something to the effect that he really wanted to go h(H)ome or that he felt that is was time that he went h(H)ome. She replied that he was almost done with his tour and that he would be home soon - what was he talking about? It wasn't until his accident on I-74 that she understood. [I certainly don't believe that] his call was a "suicide note"..., just a knowing that God put in his heart, just as I have a knowing that I will be around for awhile more.

Okay, okay. I haven't been very good about my ten minutes a day of blogging. But something very exciting has happened in my life: I got a new chair.

No, I'm not excited because it's pretty; it's kind of ugly actually. I'm excited because it is the Human Touch Perfect Chair Zero Gravity Recliner. Supposedly it's the best chair a person can buy with severe back problems, and so far I've been pretty darn comfortable in it. The problem is, the past two days I've been spending too much time in it (as in hours and hours and hours) and too much time in any one spot equals sore, tight muscles.

Jonathan and I went to The Back Store on Saturday, and I found it. It was the same store where we bought our mattress a few years ago, and the guy remembered us (not by name either). I wanted to ask why, but I didn't. I'm guessing that mainly "old" people come into the store with backs as bad as mine. He probably remembered me because he felt sorry for me.

As we were the only ones in the store (it was a Saturday afternoon near closing time), he agreed to sell us the electrical version for the price of the manual version. Once again, maybe it was because he felt sorry for me because he could see that it hurt my back to make the manual one recline.

But as it wasn't pocket change, we had to go home and figure out how to pay for it. God graciously provided financial assistance through His children, and on Monday morning, Jonathan went back to the store, and by 2:30 Monday afternoon I had my chair!

Oh, and on Saturday Jonathan did buy me a kick-butt moist heating pad for me that pulls moisture right out of the air and covers my whole back. The salesman didn't give me a deal on it, but that's okay as I was tired of buying the cheap-o $25 ones as Walgreens every few months. If this one lasts me two years, I will have saved money.

Now the only problem is that I have to fight Percy for the chair....

Am I ever going to write a new post? I promise I will. I actually have a lot to say, a lot of emotions that I think would be good for me to "get out there". But yesterday I had a major back cracking session with my doctor and two nerve blocks (yes, they involve very long needles), one of them in my shoulder. So my typing is about done for the day. But I thought that maybe if I get this far and then blog just ten minutes a day, I'll let you know all that's been going on in my life and my head in the past two months. (They kind of all go together.)

So here is the start to my new daily (gulp) blogging. I might have to skip a day here and there (probably more "here" than "there"), and stop in the middle of thoughts because ten minutes is my typing limit. But I will try my best.

So if I don't keep up with my promise, all two of you who read my blog need to nag me.

To entertain you, I'll post a video of my brother Mark singing a song he used to sing when he was little to help him get out of bed and into the shower in the morning.

If Jonathan and I had been married 50 years ago...


The real couple (my parents) who were married 50 years ago...

Tomorrow I am flying to Erie, and I am very nervous. At this point I think that we all know that my back is "bad", but it has been much worse that normal for the past month. Jonathan insists that physical therapy and trigger point injections are helping, and maybe they will in the long run. I just don't feel it. Thankfully, my family doctor has had mercy on me, and she has given me prescriptions for super strong pain killers for when things get really bad. Knowing that the trip is going to make things worse, Jonathan picked up a prescription at the doctor's office this morning. (These are the kind of pain killers that require a written prescription.) Unfortunately, he hasn't been able to get the actual pills yet. Our normal Walgreens doesn't carry them. Our back-up Walgreens is out of them. So he has to go to a very out-of-the-way Walgreens to get them. And, oh yah, he has to go to work too. I think that he is looking forward to a little break from taking care of me. That and finally being able to have heat in the bedroom at night.

So I am a ball of nerves right now. I'm sure that there will be a snow or ice storm somewhere that will land me stranded in Detroit. (I fly from Peoria to Detroit to Erie.) I'm so nervous about getting there that I haven't even thought about actually being there. "There" being my parents' cozy little house that I grew up in.

So I'm praying the my back won't give me grief. I'm praying that I'll make it to Erie in one piece right on schedule. Feel free to pray too.

All that we call human history - money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery - [is] the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy.

From Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis

I don't want you to think that I'm dead, so here I am finally writing a blog post.

I can't believe that we are half way through October already. I turned 29 this month. Time is just going so fast. We are closer to 2009 than we are to 2007, and for some reason that scares me.

Today is the quintessential fall day. The sky is cloudy, giving us a constant drizzle of rain. The leaves are starting to turn yellow and orange, and some of them are even falling. I've been waiting for the perfect day to burn my Yankee "Fall Festival" candle, and I think that today is the day.